A Night In Ishe
by Kuneko
Summary: Spending their last night in Ishe smoking chocolate, moogles falling from the sky, destroying Mana statues, oh my. Random stupid comedic oneshot XD


**// Author's Note: **Yes... Uhh... I have no idea what I was thinking when I was writing this. ;. Uh, I blame Carpe Memento's hilarious random fics. This one is random, and stupid, and uhh.. I just had to get it out of my system. Sorry for the random stupidity! XD No, really, It's ridiculously random and stupid, but hopefully _someone _out there will find it amusing. **End Author's Note //**

A Night in Ishe 

It was surprising how quickly time passed, and already the two fateful heroes of Mana were facing their final night before confronting their arch-enemy and local salsa-dancer, Julius, at the Mana Sanctuary.

"Ariah..." The blonde swordsman approached his brunette friend, as they stared out at the glass desert looming out before them. They sat together on the flat roof of Selah's house.

"Yes, Sevven?" Ariah looked at him.

"I have to tell you this. You see... It's been a long time since our quest began, and I think I've come to realise that among all other people, you..."

"Yes?"

"...You deserve to know the truth." he said.

"What truth?"

"My truth."

"Your truth? Oh god. I knew it. I knew from the moment we met."

"You did?"

"It was just too obvious, Sevven." she said with a small, sad smile.

"... O...kay. Anyway, now the truth is out. I figured since we'll probably be dead tomorrow, It would be good to tell you now." he said with a small nod.

"Yes."

"I can't hide it any longer."

"...Yes."

"You see, Ariah, the truth is, I lo--" they were interupted by a loud crash. Over on the other rooftop, they saw Mr. Moti, the inkeeper, pushing a glowing Mana Goddess off the roof.

"HAH! Another one down!" he yelled triumphantly.

"Did Mr. Moti forget to take his medication again?" Relm wondered aloud.

"No, I think he's just drunk."

"Or high off Chocolumps."

"Mr. Moti!" Sevven called from their rooftop. "Stop smoking chocolate! It's not good for you! It'll just melt all over you!"

"What the hell?!" Moti yelled back to them.

"Anyway, Ariah, the point is, what I had to tell you was that I lo--" they were once again interrupted as a giant moogle fell from the sky and landed on top of Ariah.

"_Ow!_"

"Kupo?" the moogle got up, realising he had broken Ariah's legs. Yes, both of them.

"Moogle!! You're ruining our intimate moment!" Sevven yelled, punching the moogle in the face. Then his head flew off and they realised it was just Bogard.

"Bogard? Why are you dressed as a moogle?" Sevven asked.

"Why forever not?"

"...I don't know. Are you high off Chocolumps again?" Sevven tilted his head to the side.

"...Anyway, I have to go now. Selah's going to be pissed I broke her moogle suit."

"Technically, I broke it." Sevven pointed out.

"No time for logic, Sev."

"Where is Selah anyway?"

"She and Cibba are getting it on." Sevven and Ariah cringed at the thought.

"What about Lester?" Ariah asked, getting up, then falling down again cause her legs were broken.

"He got drunk, thought the sand was candy, and ate it, then died."

"What?! Lester! Noooo! LESTER!" Ariah cried.

"He was weak and pointless and stupid and looked like a girl." Bogard said.

"...I thought he was a girl." Ariah said, looking up at Bogard.

"No comment."

"No, really, he kept asking to borrow my clothes and my make up. If he was a guy then..."

"I'd rather not think of that, Ariah." Sevven cringed again.

"So are you going to tell us why you were dressed as a moogle?"

"No, not likely."

"Oh."

"Well, I better get going."

"Why?" Ariah asked. "You don't have anything better to do."

"...Shut up." Bogard said, and he teleported away. Don't ask how.

"Now that Bogard's gone and Lester's dead, I can finally tell you, Ariah." Sevven said, holding her hands.

"Yes, but can we get to a hospital first? Or at least a Mana Statue?" Ariah said, a pained look on her face as she looked down at her broken legs. Moti laughed evilly from the other roof top.

"I JUST BROKE THE LAST MANA STATUE IN ISHE, BITCH!" He yelled maniacally. "Now you'll have no choice than to sleep at my inn!"

"How much do you charge?!" Sevven yelled over.

"200 Lucre a night!"

"Screw that!"

"But Sevven, my legs!"

"...Did you hear him? 200 Lucre! _TWO-HUNDRED LUCRE!"_

"You have like, 10,000 anyway!"

"Let's ask the elemental spirits. Their financial advice has helped me through all those tough times." Sevven said, summoning the elementals.

"Sev, we really don't have time for tha--"

"Oh Undine, should I save Ariah for this steep, steep price of 200 Lucre?"

"...My hair is pretty." Undine said, floating in the air.

"It really is." Ariah admired.

"I know."

"I have an idea." Salamander appeared. The red firey lizard bounced up and down in the air.

"We should _buuuurn_ Ishe!"

"No, Salamander! We must not abuse our elemental abilities!" Undine reminded him.

"Guys, we have a more important matter here. TWO HUNDRED LUCRE!"

"Screw that! Burn Ishe! BURN ISHE!" Salamander chanted. Then Jinn appeared, bouncing up and down as well.

"I want some Chocolumps. Anyone wanna go smoke some Chocolumps with me?" Jinn asked.

"That stuff is bad for you." Ariah told them.

"I don't care! Dude, I've been Chocolump free for like three days now! I need some Chocolumps!"

"I have some." Moti yelled from the other rooftop.

"How much?!" Jinn yelled over.

"200 Lucre."

"TWO HUNDRED LUCRE?! That's the best deal I've ever heard!" Sevven said excitedly, giving Jinn a pouch of money. Jinn floated over and bought them some Chocolumps.

"But Sevven! My legs!!" Ariah yelled in frustration.

"_BURN ISHE!"_

"We are _not _burning Ishe!" Undine said firmly. "...My hair is pretty." she said again. "Luna! Isn't my hair pretty?" Soon, a fourth elemental appeared - Luna.

"Totally!"

"Conjure up a mirror so I can admire myself."

"Like, okay!" Luna conjured up a mirror for her.

"I'm so pretty."

"You so are!"

"I know."

"I have an idea!" said another elemental. Wisp floated into existence, hovering slightly, a blue aura around her.

"I can just heal Ariah." she said brightly.

"You could..." Sevven said, thinking.

"What do you need to think about?! My legs hurt!" Ariah cried out in pain.

"Well, okay, go for it Wisp."

"No! Let's burn Ishe!" Salamander yelled. It was a miracle the villagers hadn't woken up yet.

"Duuuuude, this is some _daaaamn good Chocolate!!!"_ Jinn bounced around dizzily, smoking his Chocolumps. Salamander set it on fire and it melted all over him.

"Awww."

"My healing power isn't very strong, though. Sevven, you'll have to channel my power!" Wisp commanded.

"That's what I always do, anyway."

"Yes. So do so now."

"Fine."

"Healing Light!" Sevven cried out. He waved his arms around in some weird fashion, and punched Ariah in the face.

"Uh oh, that's not good." He said. All the elementals turned to look as Ariah fell off the building. They heard a sickening crunch.

"NOOO! ARIAH!" Sevven yelled, jumping down beside her.

"Now can we burn Ishe?" Salamander asked hopefully.

"Ah, screw it." Wisp rolled her tiny little eyes.

"YAY!"

"Ariah!! I never got to tell you that I lo... lo... Iost my virginity to Watts!" Sevven cried out. Then he realised the entire village was on fire.

"Oh. Oh my." he said slowly, as the flames engulfed him.


End file.
